Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Little-known cells might be key to human brain’s massive memory - The Washington Post

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why have Indian girls almost stopped wearing sarees?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Dotemu’s CEO on how it makes new games that feel retro - The Verge

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can count

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Do humans know everything they need to know?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Do snipers lay on top of tank turrets during combat?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

All flights grounded at Newark Airport due to staffing issues - FOX 5 New York

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why don’t Jews regard Jesus as an important teacher or rabbi, if not the Messiah? Putting aside messianic claims, wouldn’t Jesus be one of the most significant Jewish teachers in human history?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Robin Thicke marries April Love Geary in romantic wedding after nearly 7-year engagement - Page Six

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How do you like to be pegged?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

A 14-year-old created an app that detects heart disease almost instantly - Boy Genius Report

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why did lobsters evolve bright colors if they are neither poisonous nor venomous?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What is it like to use a Fleshlight?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

They Just Wanted to Make a Space Movie. Instead, They Uncovered a Mind-Blowing Cosmic Secret - The Daily Galaxy

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup